Financial Promiscuity: My True Confession

I had an uncle who worked very hard to support a big family, worried about money all his life, and died much too young. My Grandmother used to say this about my aunt: "She throws more out the back door than he can bring in the front." As a child, I didn't understand that. But as an adult, as a single parent, as a college drop-out who has limited earning ability, I found out all about it.

Using what you have carefully, not wasting it, and properly maintaining it is half the battle. Most of us have way too much stuff. (Honestly now, how many big plastic storage containers have YOU bought lately?) Yet we seem to always be needing something. Hardly a day goes by when we're not at the shopping mall. Buying things we don't really need, or want, or like when we get them home, is a way of life that has the consignment stores hopping. You might even wind up with 1/10 of what the item originally cost!

Spending money when you don't have it can be deadly to your peace of mind and your ability to meet your financial obligations. There are right ways to use those little plastic cards, and there are wrong ways. Instead of calling them CREDIT cards, start thinking of them as DEBT cards, because that's exactly what you're creating with them.

On payday, after that trip to the bank, do you take your cash home and throw half of it in your trashcan? No way? Don't be so sure! Please understand that when you buy a $20 item with your credit card, you may end up paying $100 or more for it. You, the one who goes to yard sales for your basic needs and drives across town to save 3 cents a gallon on gas!

If you don't understand money, finances, debts, banking, investing, billing, compound interest, etc., please find someone who does and let them enlighten you. Guess who did that for me...my daughter! After a life of making do, doing without, always buying the least expensive thing we could get by with, she had a real interest in conducting her life differently from how I handled ours.

Get a gameplan to pay your debt and develop a budget you can live with. (Don't expect this to happen overnight; I've spent about three years perfecting my plan.) Get professional help if necessary from a bank or financial counselor. Grow up; stop being a little whiney tantrum-pitcher in stores, even if you do it silently, in your own head. Believe me, you can live without almost anything but air and water! Learn to practice what was known as "custody of the eyes" and don't tempt yourself with constant shopping.

I used to tell myself the lie "But I deserve this!" or "My daughter deserves this!" What I have learned and now want for myself, my daughter, and YOU is a life free from constant financial problems.

So, watch what you bring in your front door, and what you throw out your back! Make better consumer choices and stop worrying about money. And enjoy life, especially your children. They will be grown and out of your home before you know it! Don't let your kids remember you the way my daughter remembers me: Living in a land of plenty, having a good job, and being blessed by God, family and friends...but never having enough because I threw my money away.

TIP: When consolidating debt, some debt consolidation companies let you have access to a debt management program, and financial counceling.

Reprinted from Zongoo! Finances